Can We Ever Get Wives Like Our Mothers? We are in the era of moral decadence and value loss. We are in the age where most things don’t matter, and people don’t care what the society thinks about them. There is so much freedom that a lot of things are going awry.
In the past, divorce was a taboo and no parent encouraged it. Many parents would even disown their daughters who tried divorce. But today, divorce has become a frequent occurrence that divorce lawyers around the world make millions facilitating divorce processes. Although most divorce we hear of in Nigeria happen in celebrity marriages, it’s no excuse for breaking marital vows; vows usually broken for stupid reasons in some cases. Whatever their reasons are, ending marriages abruptly isn’t just right.
There are always people connected to marriages; kids, friends, parents; and they are all affected when couples divorce. The kids are mostly affected and I need not say much about how most kids from broken homes turn out to be. Everyone deserves to be happy though, but why did you go into the marriage when you were not sure of the person that is going become your spouse? If you were sure of it before marriage, no matter what happens you should stay put. There are no clouds without dark patches.
The truth in divorce is that girls go into marriages because the man is financially stable and capable of taking care of their needs, especially in this part of the world. After marriage, the reality dawns on them that there is more to marriage than just money. No matter how much they try to be happy, they find out money can’t buy happiness and hence find the best way out of such marriages, divorce being the best bet of not leaving empty handed, especially when kids are already part of the union.
It is so unfortunate that we may be seeing more divorce as dating which leads to marriage has become so casual. People hook up and break up at will. As much as I’m not being gender-bias here, I must say that 85% of the break-up stories I’ve heard lately puts the girl at the blame end. The stories are so alike that I fear for our future if our girls have become more gullible and materialistic than we ever imagined. They say distance is a b*tch and blame it for most break-ups, but let’s be realistic here; when won’t there be distance if there are two ambitious people going after their dreams? Who says you have to choose between your dreams and your girl? Who says you have to choose between your career and your man? These are lies from wherever! You can get both your dream and your dream man. I believe you can’t know how much you love each other when you see everyday.
The true test of love is distance. If you can break the barrier of distance, I’m damn sure your marriage can last forever. But if distance can make you leave the guy you are dating, anything can make you leave your marriage. What if you have to move around so often because of reasons beyond your control, would you date everywhere you go and break up before leaving? Well, maybe that will make you a guru in love. Is that what you think? Don’t be deceived, there are no love gurus, and not the number of people you’ve dated will ensure your expertise in marriage handling. Why not stick to that guy who loves you, respects you, cherishes you, and understands you? Why not stick to that girl who would go through turbulent times with you and not leave?
Over the years I’ve heard stories of girls that seemed decent and so much in love cheating on their boyfriends while they were apart for just months. I’ve also heard stories of guys leaving girls hanging when they leave without actually breaking up, but they stopped making contact. I’ve heard stories of couples who separated just months, even days after getting married. I’ve heard stories of wives leaving husbands because of job loss. I’ve also heard stories of couples who have known eachother from childhood growing old together. I know stories of our mothers who endured difficult times with our fathers and never left. I’ve heard stories of our mothers who sponsored their husbands for further studies after marriage. I’ve heard so many stories of our mothers leading to their marriages and after. I’ve also heard stories of friends’ relationships, break-ups, divorce, and infidelity of all kinds. Our mothers represented love, perseverance, virtue, support, even in an age when polygamy was popular. All these kept me asking; can we ever find wives like our mothers?